YOUR FAST-TRACKED GUIDE TO SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY
The
breakthrough method
Desire Types
TM
The Desire Types show why some pairings feel magnetic and others fall flat, even when there’s love. Once you know your Desire Type blend, mismatched desire starts to make sense — it’s not always incompatibility; it’s misinterpretation.
By learning your strongest types, you stop personalising your partner’s differences and start building a connection from understanding, not assumptions.
You see, the thing is, Mismatched desire isn’t about libido — it’s about language.
Most people don't know their desire type combinations.
Perhaps that's why 70% of couples experience mismatched "libido"
(Or their partners)
You don’t want to feel wanted — you want to be craved.
Modern dating is hard enough — so the last thing you want is to finally meet someone amazing and realise the sex just doesn’t click.
You love your partner, but sex feels like work.
You’re done guessing what your partner wants (or faking what you want).
You can feel when chemistry is off — but can’t quite name why.
If THIS SOUNDS LIKE YOU...
Love languages explain how we give and receive affection.
Desire Types explain why you want what you want — and what makes that want disappear.
You’ve learnt about love languages. Now it’s time to learn about Desire Types.
$27
Price:
You want results without being curious, self-reflective, or uncomfortable at times.
You want someone else to change first so you don’t have to adjust anything about how you show up.
You’re hoping the right framework will turn the wrong person into the right relationship. No level of self-awareness outperforms a fundamental mismatch.
You think good sex is purely biological or just about mastering different positions. Technique can amplify desire — it cannot replace it.
This is NOT for you if
You want to create connection and erotic energy that feels steady and alive without needing insecurity, tension, or self-abandonment to spark it.
You’d rather have clarity than guesswork — to know why your desire shows up in some dynamics and vanishes in others, so you stop personalizing it or blaming anyone for it.
You’re tired of thinking something is wrong with you (or your partner) and you’d rather learn how different people require different conditions to access their desire.
You don’t just want more desire — you want to understand how you work, why you work that way, and what actually turns you on at a psychological level.
This IS for you if
Ben James
I built it because I didn’t.
For years, I was the common denominator in relationships that slowly lost their spark. Attraction would fade. I’d withdraw. Partners would feel confused. I didn’t have language for what was happening — only a growing sense that something in the dynamic kept repeating.
That curiosity turned into study.
I trained in attachment theory, cognitive behavioural frameworks, and relational psychology — not just to teach it, but to understand my own patterns. Over time, I began working with individuals and couples navigating desire mismatches, avoidant dynamics, and the quiet shame that comes with not feeling “normal”.
What I realised is this:
Most people aren’t broken.
They’re just operating without a map.
The 10 Desire Types is the framework I wish existed years ago — a way to understand the psychological contexts that either amplify or suppress desire, without blame, without villain narratives, and without pretending sex is just technique.
Because sexual harmony isn’t a personality trait.
It’s understanding how two Erotic Blueprints interact.
And that can be learned.
Creator of decoding desire
Created By Ben James
Is this suitable for all audiences?
These resources and assessments are intended for adults (18+) due to their focus on sexuality and emotional intimacy. It may not be appropriate for minors or individuals uncomfortable with topics of sexual psychology.
Who is this for?
Anyone curious about understanding what shapes their desire.
The Desire Types™ Method and Decoding Desire Course are for people of all genders, sexual orientations, and relationship structures—single, dating, married, poly, or “it’s complicated.” It’s for anyone who’s ever felt confused by mismatched desire, curious about what turns them on, or ready to understand how their erotic self actually works.
Can my Desire Type change depending on my partner?
Yes, context matters. Desire is relational—you may show up differently depending on who you’re with, how safe you feel, and the dynamic between you. The quiz helps you see those shifts clearly, not freeze them in place.
Does this replace therapy or sex counselling?
No. All of my programmes, resources and assessments are educational and self-reflective. They're not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or professional treatment. If you’re struggling with trauma, distress, or relationship issues, please seek guidance from a qualified therapist or sexologist.
What if I relate to more than one type?
You should. Everyone is a mix. Your top three usually shape most of your experience, but you’ll likely see parts of yourself in all ten types. Take what resonates; leave what doesn’t.
Each one can influence how you express desire in different situations. They’re not boxes to limit you—just insights to help you express yourself more fully.
Could my Desire Types change over time?
Yes—and that’s normal. Desire isn’t fixed; it shifts with life stages, stress, and emotional context. Your top type may change as you grow, heal, or enter different relationships. That’s part of the point: to track how your erotic self ebbs, flows and evolves.
